I am a cancer survivor
I have 1 eternal companion
1 daughter
3 sons.
my fair share of challenges
I am human

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

worried about rainey

here is our conversation
Rainey : Mom my tummy is grumbling
MOM: did you eat your breakfast
Rainey: yes i did i had a couple bits
Mom : why didn't you eat more
Rainey : because i want to lose weight
Mom : you don't need to lose weight you hardly eat at all
Rainey : I don't want to eat i want to stay skinney to look pretty

She hardly eats anything a couple bites for breakfast a piece of bread for lunch no crust and a couple bites for dinner and i can tell she is not gaining any weight she can still wear a size 4 in pants they just look like capris I am very worried about her I try buying her favorite foods to get her to eat and she takes a bite she is done . I am afaird she is starting to show signs of anorexia i should know I used to be one but i have never talked to her about that time

my fellow friends I Really need help with this subject what should i do


Jen B. said...

Mel, I can see why you are concerned. One place to start is to ask her where she heard about a diet? Ask her why she thinks she is overweight. Tell here that there are many ways to be healthy and not be on a diet (i.e. exercising, playing, dancing, etc). Also, is she in school yet? Talking to the school can be a great option -- they have social workers that can put your child into groups where they teach them self confidence, ability to communicate, friendship, etc. They may even address body image issues.

One last mom thing -- tell her how beautiful she is (without stipulation -- not you look pretty in this dress or you are pretty just the way you are, just simply tell her she is pretty, she is beautiful, etc. -- this may boost self image). She may be having an internal struggle of some sort that she has not told you about like kids making fun of her or a friend being obsessed with what they eat so she is just trying to fit in too.

She is such a sweet girl. I hope things go okay.

Michelle said...

Jen had some great advice. I would add to make sure you are being careful about what you say about your own body too. My neighbor is diet and weight loss obsessed and it affects her daughter. This 7 year old girl always asks if I am on a diet and before she eats something she asks if it is healthy and if its not she won't eat it. There is nothing wrong with making good healthy choices, but the way this little girl is always talking about it and concerned about it it is not healthy.

Talk to her about eating well balanced meals. Check out http://www.fns.usda.gov/TN/kids-pyramid.html for some ideas.

Rainey is such a beautiful, sweet girl. I hope that she knows this and that people (not just mom but other people she loves) tell her this everyday!

melissa said...

thanks ladies for the helpful suggestions i went anorexia when i was 13 my dad kept calling me fat and i was lucky if i weighed 105 at that age
i think i will be careful what about myself
i think she might of got it form me when she saw my exercising i said i was doing to lose some weight i am sick of felling fat for those who don't know i weigh over 200 but most of it is water retention from my edema in my leg i was told if i lose weigh tthe water retention will go down

Michelle said...

Mel, I also struggled with eating disorders in middle school. It was very trendy to be anorexic when I was in middle school. I got over it rather quickly after doing a research paper on the topic in 8th grade.