I am a cancer survivor
I have 1 eternal companion
1 daughter
3 sons.
my fair share of challenges
I am human

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

10 more weeks to go

That is all I have left. According to my Dr. If she lets me go term I am looking at an almost 12 lb baby. So we are going in around 37 weeks to have our little boy.
Feelings are I am scared this time around I don't know why. Maybe because I have 3 and they are hard to control as it is . How will life be after we introduce the new little one in our home.
I guess I take it one day at a time.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

i guess

I have created my own problems. I realize I am not the only lonely person out there. I got a phone call the other day and we talked for almost 40 minutes it felt good to talk to another adult who shares the same beliefs you do. This pregnancy has been so hard on me . I am sick and sore all the time. I am trying to keep a house clean raise 3 other kids and my husband is in school and not home all the time.
I have offend the wrong person and I don't know where to draw the line I am at risk of losing a real close friend. I still don't understand what I did wrong but try to patch up a big mess I created last year.
I just might tell this other friend we are done. i don't need anymore stress right now. I have come close to losing this baby I worked so hard to have . I only have 13 weeks to go and I don't think I could survive if something happened to him.

Monday, October 5, 2009


I realized about the only friend I have is a great lady named Kim.
I guess it is my fault. Another friend reminded me what I did last year to someone else. Ever since then nobody really talks to me or wants to do things with me. I totally forgot about that. I forgave myself and asked for forgiveness .
I understand if people don't trust me.
why can't people let it go and let me move on with my life.
I am sick of being lonely. I guess I will go back into my shell I worked so hard to get out of when I moved here.