I am a cancer survivor
I have 1 eternal companion
1 daughter
3 sons.
my fair share of challenges
I am human

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Difficultys

There have been many ones which hurts so much is my dad and I got in a huge fight and I said something that no body would say to him or wouldn't dare and well I now longer exist in my family. I even said I was sorry and well I have had nothing but silence from him. I tried to talk to him at Easter he saw me and walked out of the room.
My mom is constantly making excuses for him and well I have herd enough. If he wants to treat me like this so be it. He is the one missing out in the lives of his grandchildren.
Another one is trying to mother the 4 kids. #1 is a real pistol you say something she cries or takes it the wrong way. She refuses to help out at home. thinks she can mother her brothers around to the point it ends up in a big screaming match between her and her brothers. #2 is well better behaved he listens more and helps out when not asked . # 3 is 4 and half and still refuses to use the potty to go number 2 i have tried everything I can think of. # 4 was sleeping through the night and well is up every couple hours again.
I am striving to keep my marriage together but sometimes I feel like I am the only one making an effort in it. I try so hard and I am worn out and just plain tired in trying real hard and getting no results for my efforts
So if you see me and ask how I am well I am not fine I am stressed out worn out ready to burst but holding back for the sake of my children and husband

1 comment:

milnhil said...

melissa, i am sorry to hear that life is hard for you right now. something that helps me a ton when life seems to be crashing down around me is trying to find things to be thankful for. there are days when i can only think really broad things b/c things are so hard - so i'll be thankful that i can walk, or thankful that all of my kids are healthy, etc. i'll be thankful for a good memory from years past or that i have clothes and food for my family. do you remember the old movie, 'pollyanna'? that movie made a huge impact on me after my brother died when i was a teenager - i would try to play the 'glad game' with myself. i now do that with my kids (sometimes they'll be looking at the negative side for a long time and i'll remember that we haven't talked about our thankfuls for a while!) we all go through super hard times - just know that you are not alone.